E!, the channel known for it’s groundbreaking documentaries Kardashian reruns and fashion “advice” is launching a new show called WAGs, where it’s going to shine a light on the subculture of dating pro athletes.

I know, I know, you’re riveted already. But before you rush to set that DVR to record the entire season, let’s take a look a who’s going to be starring in it:

  • Sasha Gates, wife to San Diego Chargers tight end Antonio Gates. Also known as the “Queen WAG.” (I’m not making this up, it’s in the official press release.)
  • Autumn Ajirotutu, wife to the Eagles’ Seyi Ajirotutu. Autumn is a new mom to twins who’s also struggling to curve her partying ways.
  • Barbie Blank (totally real name), engaged to former Anaheim Ducks player Sheldon Souray. She’s a former WWE Diva and from the press release is “very excited to move up the hierarchy chain and legitimize her WAG status.”
  • Ashley North, daughter of an athlete and still holding on to girlfriend status after 11 years is with Washington Redskins’ Dashon Goldson.
  • Nicole Williams, girlfriend to Tampa Bay Buccaneers’ Larry English of four years is “ready for a ring” and struggles with “jersey chasers.”
  • And then we have Natalie Halcro and Olivia Pierson, cousins/best friends who are also bloggers and jersey chasers either already a WAG or wants in the club, especially now that one of them has over 1million Instagram followers and….I don’t care enough to finish that sentence with the full details.

As if those bios didn’t scream “Emmy nomination” I have a trailer for you:

And the best part happens to be the show’s official bio:

These WAGS are playing the most competitive sport out there: getting and keeping that pro-athlete man.  As part of an elite, exclusive group, the WAGS are close friends who are bound together by a strict hierarchy, unspoken rules and plenty of drama – and those who have the coveted ring and a husband with a contract are the ones with all the power!  As in sports, this game is all about getting that “W” and this pack knows how to play the field… Jump into the competitive, fast-paced, glamorous world of “WAGS” when the new series premieres on E! Tuesday, August 18th at 10:00pm ET/PT.

The WAGS life has plenty of perks, but the diamonds and mansions don’t come easy.  These women are constantly strategizing and fine-tuning their playbooks to keep their place in the line-up among the other WAGS, and to maintain the high-profile celebrity lifestyle that comes along with that role.  In this 8-episode series, E!’s WAGS are faced with tough decisions as players change teams, forcing some to decide whether or not to uproot their lives and move across the country.  Additionally these women are constantly working to find ways to balance their own careers and interests with the demands of their partner’s sports schedules.  And while one WAG is planning her magical wedding, another one’s fiancé is getting cold feet.  E!’s WAGS are bonded together by long-time friendships, but rank has its privileges in this group and the competition to rise to the top and be “queen” of the WAGS brings plenty of drama.

“Being a WAG isn’t all diamonds and mansions.” Ugh.

If you like shows like this, I can only assume you watch them for cheap entertainment or to help yourself feel better about your life. And to that, I salute you for being upfront and honest. But for me, I’d rather someone Geno Smith me before I have to watch another minute of this.

WAGs premieres Sunday August 18th on E! at 10pm EST.